Thursday, 8 November 2012

Redoing Parenting

A lot is written and talked about supermoms. Somewhere you might find stuff written on super-dads as well. But have you come across or even heard about super-grandmoms and super-granddads. Our daily visit to school, for dropping and picking up our kids have made us aware of this completely unknown super-humans, whose numbers are increasing rapidly.

Here is our encounter with some of them…

Super-Grandmom X:

Holding a hand of her three-year old grandson firmly and carrying his little bag, this grandmom is never late for school.  Never a glimpse of tiredness or frustration crosses her face.

One day we were shocked to see her completely exhausted. After enquiring from her she told that she has been running temperature from past few days (But she had not missed school even for a day). I could not stop myself from asking her that why is she still coming to drop him and maybe someone else can come for some days. Without any anger she just told us that the parents have gone on a month long vacation.

That also meant that they would not be here for the sports day, which was scheduled for the coming Saturday.

Super-Granddad Y:

Ok we have never interacted with this grand-dad and we are really not much aware about him, but we have been observing him from last 7-8 months. He seems to be suffering from some health issues, which makes walking and talking also a very difficult task for him. He along with a maid comes daily to pick his grand-daughter from school using public transport.

Be it scorching heat or thunderous monsoon, he is much before time than even most parents. Even his eye-operation, which required him to avoid sun-exposure didn’t deter him from coming to school.

Super-Grandmom Z:

Till the time our kids come out from the school, the parents get some time to share their joys, concerns and thoughts of being in this new role with each other. In this our another super-grandmom is an active participant.

Her joys and concerns are so similar to ours. How her little grandson lives on milk and doesn’t eat anything except chocolate cakes. How he follows her like a shadow and has to be kept engaged all day long. She tells us with a smile that what her own kids didn’t make her do, this little one is making her go through.

She attends all the PTA (class meetings) meets for her grandson and tells us proudly “the interest is always dearer than the principal “

These are just a few from so many we encounter in our daily lives. It’s lucky to be blessed with such super grandmoms and granddads.

An after- thought
Is it a time for them to take care of or them to be taken care of? 
We wonder...


  1. I wonder how mom's who have never taken care of their children will take care of their grand children. So may be this phenomenon (I guess peculiar to India) will fade out with the next two-three generations. I personally think it is quite unfair though a helping hand and experienced parent to extend some kind of support is a welcome. I think the parents should also put down their put foot and tell their children that they do not want to take care of their childrens' responsibilities. Unfortunately this is not what many grand pas and mas do. On the contrary I know of parents (including my own) who make an offer to raise the child only because of the fear that their children may choose to go childless (Sad!!) And many times, the grand parents-to-be assume that that is how it is supposed/meant to be! Whatever be the situation, I think it is not a great idea for I don't think it has been designed to be like that. Would like to also add, though, I may sound mean and not-so-pleasant, but on a lighter note I would not want my children to pick up some quirks of my parents and my husband's parents (some eating habits, mannersims etc) and while I can't change them, I can mould my children the way I want. I would prefer to raise my children myself, my way!

    1. Hi Trupti, I completely agree that it is great to have a grandparent around and is best for the kids too, to learn so much from their experiences. But it's just a thin line from being a support system to taking full responsibility. Grandparents will never complain as u said, but as parents it is in our hands not to pass on our responsibilities. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts on our blog.