As a child very often I have laughed at glistening tears in the eyes of my parents when I had made them proud. Very often I have failed to understand the stress over minor cold and cough. Very often I implied their protectiveness as their restrictiveness. And worst of all how many times did I blame them for not loving me enough?
The answer to the above and many more such questions send a shiver down my spine. And the funny part is that it’s my child now who is making me decipher what my parents are. And the most important realization I have had is that I am no different than what my parents are and as a matter of fact I am no different than any other parent on this whole planet when its about the child.
The first time when I saw my son performing on stage for a school event, I completely failed to control the tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. After the performance when my son saw my wet eyes, he asked innocently “ Mumma, Were you crying?” I just smiled and the only way I could answer him was by planting a soft kiss on his cheeks. And that time, my inner soul was shouting loudly at me “Do you now realize why parents are capable of crying even at the happiest of the moments”. Sometimes the simplest joy can be so powerful to overwhelm us. That day I decided to call my mom and apologize.
My mother still gets so much bothered about what I am eating and what I am not eating. She without fail reads all the health related articles she comes across. Doesn’t leave any opportunity of preparing my favorites when I visit her or vice versa. Till some years back I would just ignore her on these issues and also made it very obvious to her. Now since I have got into a new venture of feeding my son, and making sure that he gets his daily requirements of iron, calcium and other vital vitamins, the whole fuss about FOOD got clear to me. So as to undo all what I have done in my past years, I listen to all my mother’s suggestions and even try to follow some. May be this way God will be kinder to me and not make my son as difficult a child as I was.
These days I talk a lot to my mother about how I was as a child, how to handle a particular situation etc etc. Now I feel my parents did a fairly good job in raising my brother and me. They are my benchmark on parenting.
Its often said that time teaches you everything. I don’t know about other things but it definitely teaches a lot about your own parents. Most of us in their growing up years must have at least once told their parents that they don’t love you enough or they didn’t do enough. With time and every evolving generation it is inevitable of our children to question us or find a loophole in our set of ideas and upbringing. Oh my God, just the thought that my son will tell me this one-day kills me.
As parents it is difficult to meet our own expectations but as children those expectations always keep rising. Our idea of sharing this is not that we want our sons to feel these things right now. Let them take their time, let them grow up and let them become a parent ;)
For now LET THEM JUST BE.