A lot is written and talked about supermoms. Somewhere you
might find stuff written on super-dads as well. But have you come across or
even heard about super-grandmoms and super-granddads. Our daily visit to
school, for dropping and picking up our kids have made us aware of this
completely unknown super-humans, whose numbers are increasing rapidly.
Here is our encounter with some of them…
Super-Grandmom X:
Holding a hand of her three-year old grandson firmly and
carrying his little bag, this grandmom is never late for school. Never a glimpse of tiredness or
frustration crosses her face.
One day we were shocked to see her completely exhausted.
After enquiring from her she told that she has been running temperature from
past few days (But she had not missed school even for a day). I could not stop
myself from asking her that why is she still coming to drop him and maybe
someone else can come for some days. Without any anger she just told us that
the parents have gone on a month long vacation.
That also meant that they would not be here for the sports
day, which was scheduled for the coming Saturday.
Super-Granddad Y:
Ok we have never interacted with this grand-dad and we are
really not much aware about him, but we have been observing him from last 7-8
months. He seems to be suffering from some health issues, which makes walking
and talking also a very difficult task for him. He along with a maid comes
daily to pick his grand-daughter from school using public transport.
Be it scorching heat or thunderous monsoon, he is much
before time than even most parents. Even his eye-operation, which required him
to avoid sun-exposure didn’t deter him from coming to school.
Super-Grandmom Z:
Till the time our kids come out from the school, the parents
get some time to share their joys, concerns and thoughts of being in this new
role with each other. In this our another super-grandmom is an active
participant.
Her joys and concerns are so similar to ours. How her little
grandson lives on milk and doesn’t eat anything except chocolate cakes. How he
follows her like a shadow and has to be kept engaged all day long. She tells us
with a smile that what her own kids didn’t make her do, this little one is
making her go through.
She attends all the PTA (class meetings) meets for her
grandson and tells us proudly “the interest is always dearer than the principal
“
These are just a few from so many we encounter in our daily
lives. It’s lucky to be blessed with such super grandmoms and granddads.
An after- thought
Is it a time for them to take care of or them to be taken
care of?
We wonder...
I wonder how mom's who have never taken care of their children will take care of their grand children. So may be this phenomenon (I guess peculiar to India) will fade out with the next two-three generations. I personally think it is quite unfair though a helping hand and experienced parent to extend some kind of support is a welcome. I think the parents should also put down their put foot and tell their children that they do not want to take care of their childrens' responsibilities. Unfortunately this is not what many grand pas and mas do. On the contrary I know of parents (including my own) who make an offer to raise the child only because of the fear that their children may choose to go childless (Sad!!) And many times, the grand parents-to-be assume that that is how it is supposed/meant to be! Whatever be the situation, I think it is not a great idea for I don't think it has been designed to be like that. Would like to also add, though, I may sound mean and not-so-pleasant, but on a lighter note I would not want my children to pick up some quirks of my parents and my husband's parents (some eating habits, mannersims etc) and while I can't change them, I can mould my children the way I want. I would prefer to raise my children myself, my way!
ReplyDeleteHi Trupti, I completely agree that it is great to have a grandparent around and is best for the kids too, to learn so much from their experiences. But it's just a thin line from being a support system to taking full responsibility. Grandparents will never complain as u said, but as parents it is in our hands not to pass on our responsibilities. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts on our blog.
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